Ok guys, Skinny Rules challenge is on hold for 2 days because I have class all weekend in DT L.A. which equals long days, a lot of stress, and a lot of eating out. Not on hold like “hey I’m gonna go back to eating whatever I like” but on hold like “hey, let’s keep it real and just maintain in this moment of utter chaos.” I definitely have been following Skinny Rule # 6 which was to eat an apple and berries every day. That one was easy. It’s # 7 I’m scared of and generally avoiding, which is “no carbs after lunch”! Mentally I’m just not prepared to make that commitment today, so I’m waiting til Monday.
On the plus side, I lost 4 lbs this week! Just from following rules 1-6! Not bad, considering I didn’t work out and I was sick. Usually that makes me feel like eating CHEESE AND BREAD, USUALLY SMOTHERED IN SOME KIND OF SAUCE.
The surprising thing for me about eating healthier and cutting out refined grains and sugars is, it’s not that hard (ok I know I’m only on day 6). I haven’t had any major cravings and I feel full and satisfied after every meal/snack. Seriously! Me of the night time munchies! The worst thing I’ve eaten all week is too many whole wheat crackers with spinach and kale dip!
But today was hard. Hard emotionally. I guess this is where my relationship with food comes to light and I have to learn some new replacement behaviors. I ate 3 bites of a friend’s crepe at lunch and 1/2 hour later, broke out in hives! Hives! Can cutting out processed food change my body that quickly?
Not to mention the giant red itchy bumps on my hands/legs, I had a long day at school and even longer one tomorrow. I came home and my boyfriend was working/hanging out with his sister drinking beers. I was hungry and needed to eat before going into munch mode. I ate left over soup and 1/2 wheat pita with 1/2 piece of cheese. I wanted to hang out and watch tv but I had to do homework. They went to go get a pizza (pepperoni and olive!) with garlic bread.
Saying no to the food wasn’t that hard. I could eat it if I wanted to but do I need any more hives plus a stomach ache? not really. But I feel tired, lonely, left out and abandoned. The ritual of eating
delicious comforting unhealthy fattening food with people you love runs deep in my 1/2 filipina veins. I am sad I haven’t really eaten any meals with my boy this week because our schedules are so different, and our meals are too. I wish I had a partner who would go on this journey with me, but it’s unfair of me to force that on him. Especially when he’s making so many positive changes in his own life right now. Now I feel even worse because I took all my feelings, stress and anxiety out on him and was mean to the one person who I wish would comfort me in my moment of sadness. I know it will take some time to get used to our new routines. I know the more healthy food I cook and eat, he will see how much it changes me and start to feel the change in himself. It just feels a little lonely right now.
Normally I would eat an extra slice of pizza/whatever I could find if I was feeling this way. What do skinny people do when they are sad and lonely and feeling like they need a little something to perk them up? (please don’t tell me go for a run even if it’s true.) And by skinny I don’t mean thin but healthy, happy people who have learned to balance their lives and their bodies. Because that’s who I want to be.